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  I won’t be able to breathe again until I have her.

  “Oh?” I say to her, sliding the license toward her. “Where is she?”

  “Are you family?”

  It’s like warm molasses has been poured over my soul. The idea of making her my family - of making her my bride - has me beaming with pride.

  “Yes, I’m family,” I reply. Telling a stranger that Bug is my family is a sweet balm for my wrecked soul. It’s the only thing keeping me from tearing through this hospital room by room, bed by bed, to find her.

  I am out of control, a beast clawing toward my Bug.

  “She left,” the nurse tells me blankly.

  Panic ping-pongs through my body.

  “Where the hell did she go?” I yell. I slap my hand over the license and take it back, shoving it into my pocket.

  “I don’t know,” the nurse says. I watch as she takes her phone out of the cradle and punches in a few numbers. She cups her hand over the receiver and whispers something, her eyes peering through me.

  Obsession rolls through me as I tear away from the desk and stalk back toward the exit. I take the license out of my pocket so I can find her address, but I’m stolen by her beauty.

  She’s even more beautiful than I remembered. Her long blonde hair is falling softly over her shoulders and her blue eyes are arresting. She’s wearing a black tank top with the straps of a bright pink bra peeking out. It must be the same bra she was wearing today.

  I feel my fingers clench around the license as it disappears into my palm. I want to go to the DMV and gouge out the eyes of the man who took this picture. The man who saw her with that pink bra. My heart slams through me and the only thing that I can do to regain control is bring my fist to my nose and inhale.

  The scent of lemon and mint is clinging to her license. I take it away from my face and peer down at it again. Every sense in me is competing with the other. I need to feel her, smell her, watch as my cock presses between the lips of her pussy and slices through her soft, warm little body.

  And the first time I claim her, it’ll be from behind. I don’t want to miss one single second of the way my cock slices through her. When I see her pussy wrap my cock up tight and I fuck her with long, smooth strokes, I’ll know she’s really mine.

  When I unleash all of the cum that’s already gathering inside me and she feels it painting her womb, dripping and coating every last smooth curve, she’ll know she’s really mine.

  I punch her address into my phone and get inside her car again, and then I start racing.

  This home won’t be her home much longer. Once I find her, we are moving her out of that dump and far away from the man who put her there. She’s too good for all of this, for this whole entire fucking world, and once I have her I’m putting her where she rightfully belongs.

  I’m already making plans for what I’m going to do for her.

  I’ll take her on tour with her favorite band. Buy every ticket on an entire tour so she can listen to her hippy-dippy music up close and personal but without anyone sneaking glances at her.

  I’ll take her to Hawaii so she can see the beautiful sunsets.

  I’ll pay to reserve an entire fucking island so I can watch as she strips down to her little white bikini in front of my eyes.

  I’ll build a sandcastle for her to live in.

  Anything she wants. Anything she could ever need for a billion lifetimes.

  It’s hers.

  Nerves jitter inside me and every moment that I’m not inside her is my enemy.

  I observe my surroundings carefully, memorize them in case I need to recall them later. I need to know my enemy to destroy it, so I watch as high-end clubs and trendy restaurants become chain restaurants and big-box stores, and then I’m in a part of town with dumpy strip clubs and pawn shops.

  And then I see the bright pink sign up ahead. My heart flies into my throat. This is it. This is her apartment complex.

  New Castle Apartments

  Why is it that the shittier the apartments, the more fancy the name?

  I hit the brakes with a screech that cuts through the warm night, leap out of her car with clenched fists, muscle toward the entrance, and then smash through the gate. She lives on the second floor. I’m about to climb the staircase against the side of the dilapidated building when I see her.

  She’s lit up by the rippling blue lights of the swimming pool.

  My Bug.

  She’s doing a back stroke over the surface and she looks like an angel. The sight glues me to the floor. My pulse thickens in my neck as I make my way toward the black gate surrounding the pool area.

  Her eyes are closed. She drifts through the water with lazy little kicks and smooth, fluid arms.

  She doesn’t know I’m here.

  Her perfect perky breasts are drifting along the surface of the water in her little white triangle bikini top. Her fingers are floating through the water and with every stroke of her body my heart beats a little slower and my cock gets stiffer.

  Watching her in the water is making me calm and all riled up at the same time.

  Behind the thin fabric of her bikini top I can see the outlines of her hard, erect nipples. They cause a new throbbing sensation to course through me and with every little movement I watch as the surface of the water tickles her stiff peaks.

  My soul is jealous of the swimming pool. I’m jealous of the surface of the water and the way her fingers and toes break through it. The way it tickles those stiff little nipples. The way it gets between her legs. I want to be as close to her as the water is. I want to be as close to her as the air inside her lungs. My cock is like a red-hot steel poker inside my pants and I would strip my clothes and dive into the water if I could tear my eyes away.

  But I can’t. With each passing second, she becomes more and more perfect and more and more impossible to look away from. Her eyes are closed and I groan inside my chest when my gaze travels to the sweet juncture of her thighs. With every little kick of her legs the sweet pure pussy between them is treated to a lapping by the ripping surface of the water.

  I approach the black gate around the pool and reach out to push it open. The rusted metal creeks as I keep my eyes trained on my Bug.

  The sound makes her eyes pop open and she ducks under the water for a moment before emerging again from the surface.

  And I finally see her eyes again.

  The big, blue orbs of paired moons sparkle up at me as a smile spreads out on her lips. I put my hand over my chest because I think she just tore me open and ripped out my heart with that smile. Where my heart used to be there is now just an empty cavity.

  “You came,” she says.

  “Of course I did.”

  She bites her smiling bottom lip and disappears under the surface.

  6

  Bug

  My heart is floating and singing with glee.

  He came for me. The man who found me and saved me came back for me. For me.

  I wrap my arms around my shoulders and sink under the surface of the water, letting out a big, delighted scream.

  I kick my legs to come back up to the surface of the water and watch as my man takes a seat on one of the recliners by the gate. He’s only wearing his heavy firefighter pants and a thin white tank top, and his body is more glorious than I could have imagined.

  His muscled arms and shoulders are thick and tattooed and bathed in pink and blue light. His eyes watch me intently as I swim over to the ladder to get out and run over to him.

  “No,” he tells me, “not yet.”

  His voice is dark and thick like melted sugar and honey. It sends a thrilling chill through my body, starting at the top of my head and gathering inside my belly. My core is hot with bright white light and even though I’m in the pool I can feel that my bathing suit bottoms are very wet.

  He watches me intently as I push away from the edge with my feet, floating toward the middle.

  I always come out here when I need to clear my
mind. Whenever I’m stressed out or if I need a few minutes away from Ray, I come out here. I was able to sneak into our apartment to change into my bikini and then come back out here undetected, which I was thankful for.

  I think swimming is a healthy alternative to feeling sorry for myself, and I’ve always loved it.

  After the hospital, I came straight home. I didn’t bother going to check on my car. I didn’t have the keys anyway, and I think I may have just died if it were still there, if my man hadn’t taken it and kept it safe for me.

  Me and my man. We’re all alone out here. I’ve always been the only person who uses the pool. And because we’re all alone, he could do anything to me. Right out in the open of the big warm night. He could do anything, and I’d let him.

  No one would notice, and if they did, they wouldn’t care. Everyone’s too busy minding their own business to look out for anyone but themselves.

  “You don’t even know my name,” I say, floating in the middle of the pool. The ripples of the little waves I’m making with my fingertips hit me everywhere like I’m an atom in an electrical current.

  “Your name is Bug.”

  The word wraps me up with light. That feels so right. It feels more real than the name I was given at birth. When I was born, my father named me Cindy. My mom told me he loved the name, but then he left my mom with me when I was just an infant.

  Ever since I learned the origin of my name I’ve hated it.

  “It’s Cindy, actually,” I tell him.

  “Now it’s Bug,” he says. “I found your license in your car. But your old name doesn’t suit you.”

  “I like my new mane,” I whisper. Bug. It feels so good in my brain. It feels like my real name. “What’s your name?”

  “Flint,” he tells me, his strong jaw working confidently.

  “I like that too. It fits you.”

  “And Bug fits you. And soon, you’ll have my last name as well.”

  My belly flops over.

  I could live in this moment forever, even if it meant never having his lips on mine, never having my hands on his body. I would give up a thousand lifetimes or even one shot at being in his arms if I could have this exact moment forever.

  I’m afraid it’s going to be taken away from me somehow, and I wouldn’t be able to survive that.

  I’ve already lived through so much loss. I wouldn’t be able to survive losing Flint.

  But I know he’ll do everything he can to keep me.

  “Do you want to join me?” I breathe, swimming over to the deep end. He keeps his eyes trained on mine like if he doesn’t keep me in his sight I’ll just - poof - disappear into thin air.

  But I won’t. If he lets me, I’ll be his little Bug forever.

  “I want to watch you,” he says darkly. His voice and words send the thrill of goosebumps plumping over my skin. I tremble and shiver and put my arms around my shoulders.

  Flint puts his heavy-booted feet on either side of the recliner and sits forward with his elbows on his spread knees. His lap is so big that I think I’d just disappear between his legs like change in the couch cushions. My belly flops when he puts one of his hands between his legs.

  I watch his eyes intently as I swim lazily back and forth across the water. With each kick of my foot or flip of my fingers his eyes get darker and darker and I become more and more wet between my legs.

  Scissoring my legs together out in front of me, I feel my soaked clit roll between my thighs, making a little moan escape from my lips. The back of my head falls to the surface of the water and it tickles my earlobes. I could have never imagined letting him watch me swim would be such a turn-on for me.

  When I lift my sleepy eyelids, Flint is stalking toward me. My breath catches in my throat and my bottoms pool up with a fresh supply of honey when he sits at the edge of the pool with both of his big booted feet on either side of him. His legs are spread, and like a kitten having a dish of milk put down on the kitchen floor for her, I move through the warm water toward him.

  “Bug,” Flint says carefully, pulling my chin up with his strong, soot-stained fingers, “I can’t leave you here. You’re coming away with me. I’ll take you anywhere you want.”

  I’ve been punched in the gut by affection personified.

  “But you don’t know anything about me,” I say, pushing off the pool wall between his legs. A droplet of water kicks up onto his knee and he regards it with awe.

  “What do you want me to know?” he replies.

  I can tell he’s okay with the pace I’m setting. I’m not going slow because I’m unsure. I’m going slow because I want to savor this. I know he’s okay with it. I think he likes it.

  “I don’t know,” I tell him.

  “That’s because I already know everything I need to,” he says.

  Warm, golden light takes me and wraps me up in its arms.

  Even if I didn’t have to escape this dark, dreary castle, I’d go with him. I could be the Queen of England preparing for afternoon tea and I’d go with him. I could be a surgeon about to cut open a King for a life-saving surgery and I’d go with him, as soon as I made sure there was someone to take my place in the operating room.

  I feel so sure of it that it’s dizzying.

  I swim back over to him, plant myself between his legs and hook my dripping, shaky elbows over his knees.

  I feel a shudder break inside his chest. A breath catches inside my throat as he drags a finger from the back of my ear to my chin.

  “What can I do for you, Flint?” I whisper. “I want to thank you for saving me. Not just from the fire. I want to thank you for finding me. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. I couldn’t know. But when you saved me, that’s when I knew.”

  A low, long growl breaks inside him as he looks away from me briefly. When he looks at me again, his chin is tipped down.

  “There’s one thing you can do for me right now.”

  “What is it?”

  I think I might do anything for this man.

  “I need to watch you cum,” he whispers. “I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe again until I do.”

  I swallow thickly and my heart gallops. No one’s ever seen me cum before. Including me. I’ve tried, but nothing has ever worked. I’ve tried using my fingers, I’ve even taken a little money I’d been able to sneak out of the cash register at the shop so I could buy a cheap vibrator from a sex shop across town where no one would recognize me.

  I’ve never gotten up the courage to look at sexy stuff on my desktop computer or in a magazine.

  I’ve always thought it would happen if I fell in love. If I was with someone I loved, then he’d be able to get me there.

  If I didn’t die a virgin, of course.

  Which now, I’m certain, I won’t.

  Flint’s finger tips my chin up and his dark eyes peer down at me as though I’m the only thing in the world.

  “How?” I whisper.

  I’m wishing that he’ll pull me right out of the pool and carry me over his shoulder to wherever he lives. Something tells me that he lives somewhere nice with his fireman salary, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve lived here for so many years that I’ve grown accustomed to it. I’d even stay here forever if he’d stay with me.

  He’s still keeping his distance to gain my trust, but I can tell he also wants a little taste.

  He traces a fingertip along my jaw, making my body shudder with warmth.

  “You know how, Bug,” he whispers. “Touch that sweet little pussy.”

  Oh, god. I shiver at his slow-moving words. My clit is on fire.

  I do as he says, giving him the trust he’s earning. I slide my trembling fingers down my belly and past the fabric of my white bottoms. I glide a single finger down past the thick black curls and then my folds to find a sticky-sweet treat for myself.

  “Ohhh,” I exhale, my eyes slipping closed. “Oh my god.”

  “No,” he tells me, “I want to see those baby blues. I want to see y
our soul when you unravel.”

  I feel a new gush of liquid drench my finger. I press it inside my tight hole and with my thumb I slowly stroke the edge of my clit. Flint keeps looking into my eyes like he really is seeing into my very soul.

  His breathing is heavy and even, and he never takes his dark gaze away.

  Winding, white-hot pleasure curls through my belly like a sweet, soft melody as I make tiny, tight strokes up and down my clit.

  I don’t know what it feels like to cum, but I feel like I might. And I want to. I want to badly, because Flint says he needs to see it.

  So I need to cum, because I want to give him what he needs.

  I bite my bottom lip as the pleasure inside me intensifies, a single butterfly zipping back and forth in my belly.

  “Cum for me, Bug,” Flint says to me. He puts both of his hands around my throat and squeezes softly, making my bikini bottoms flood anew.

  “Oh my god,” I whisper, that butterfly inside me zipping back and forth faster and faster.

  One of Flint’s hands moves away from my throat and I nearly whimper at its absence as he glides it down my body, and then he puts his hand below the surface of the water to touch me.

  He lands between my legs and one of his fingers wiggles around the crotch of my bottoms. His drives his finger through my hole, my finger still stuffed inside, and the addition of his extra digit makes my pussy clench up tight.

  “Keep on stroking your clit,” he whisper-growls near my ear. “Don’t you dare stop until all of your sticky juices are coating my hand. I need you to cover every inch of me. Every inch.”

  Awestruck and winding up like a jack-in-the-box, I observe him carefully as one of his hands covers my breast. He palms it through the material, wet and clinging to every little curve, and he rolls his palm gently over my nipple, making my body soar to new heights.

  Heat zig-zags through me like a bolt of lighting.

  “I’m cumming,” I whisper desperately as my pussy clenches up around our fingers. He strokes the front wall of my pussy, bringing my finger along with him for the ride, and I feel the pads of both of our fingers curl up inside me. His thumb covers mine and he keeps the pressure mounted there like he’s pinning my body against a wall.